I wish you wouldnt have to go away, leaving me feeling naked in the big bad world... Coz the only thing that looks good on me is YOU...
Monday, May 22, 2006
I Wish...
I wish you wouldnt have to go away, leaving me feeling naked in the big bad world... Coz the only thing that looks good on me is YOU...
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
I speak...
Its three in the morning and as the world snores away peacefully, i seem to have turned into an insomniac.
sleep,sleep, sleep, where art thou? It IS really true that human beings need sleep to rejuvinate themselves, but then if one does not do anything
throughout the day, where will the need to rejuvinate oneself come from? i have taken a balcony seat to the
movie called life. i can only sit by and watch the world slide away, watch like an audience while others play
their part to perfection. what happens when you are running your fastest best, and suddenly you trip and
fall.... you get hurled so far way and you bruise yourself so bad , that you wonder if you would ever be able to
get back to those tracks again.... those tracks that had once been your sole soul's sustenance. There's a part of me that wants to scream out, shout at all the other people who are running..."how dare you
run? cant you see i have fallen? yopu should stop too!!! " thats my frustration speaking. seem to ahve lost touch
with the active world. sitting and watching life go by hasd never been my forte, and thsi time it is no
different. the only way to survivve the fight id to get beck ti the tracks. Waiting for my inner calling...
sleep,sleep, sleep, where art thou? It IS really true that human beings need sleep to rejuvinate themselves, but then if one does not do anything
throughout the day, where will the need to rejuvinate oneself come from? i have taken a balcony seat to the
movie called life. i can only sit by and watch the world slide away, watch like an audience while others play
their part to perfection. what happens when you are running your fastest best, and suddenly you trip and
fall.... you get hurled so far way and you bruise yourself so bad , that you wonder if you would ever be able to
get back to those tracks again.... those tracks that had once been your sole soul's sustenance. There's a part of me that wants to scream out, shout at all the other people who are running..."how dare you
run? cant you see i have fallen? yopu should stop too!!! " thats my frustration speaking. seem to ahve lost touch
with the active world. sitting and watching life go by hasd never been my forte, and thsi time it is no
different. the only way to survivve the fight id to get beck ti the tracks. Waiting for my inner calling...
Saturday, February 11, 2006
The Ring
The day started off on an awful note…. Mom slipped in a ring on the little finger of my right hand at dawn…. A thing that I had been dreading for quite sometime now…. well it’s a ring that is supposed to keep me from falling seriously ill…hahaha…I mean common man!!! What century are we living in??? If a ring and a stone could keep illness away, why would we need doctors?? Okay okay, maybe I am being too sarcastic, and there are people who still believe that things like a stone or a locket can keep evil and dangers at bay…but it came as an utmost shock to me when MY parents wanted to go the same superstitious way, like the others, at whom I have laughed all my life..!!! Man, when I saw those cool chicks dressed in the most hep and fashionable way, all their fashion fundas applied at one go, I would go ga ga over their sense of dressing and the way they carried themselves, until my eyes fell on their hands, rather their fingers…there they would be, safely slipped in to their fingers, gold rings, holding all sorts of hideous colored stones…. Red, green, white, and sometimes may be purple, blue, orange and what not (I wonder if there is any fluorescent colored stone that keeps you from falling into wrong hands..???) hee hee…. Anyways, coming back to those silly little girls…. I had a good good laugh at their cost… !!! I mean it just looks so silly and uncool….sheeeesh!!!! That was the time I was thankful that though I am not as fashionable and hip as them, at least me and my parents had the sanity not to wear those rings that “supposedly keeps you from harm”…hah…!!! It’s THE most ridiculous thing I have ever seen… and thanks to my parents, I was brought up in the least superstitious environment possible…and hence the smugness towards superstitious things…. I believe there has to be a reason and a scientific explanation behind everything…. otherwise how does every thing in nature work according to precision??? And this is where I don’t find any logic behind these superstitions…
Now one would question, if I am so against the idea of wearing a superstitious ring, then what is one of those doing, sitting pretty (or ugly) on my little finger… Well this is where the heart ruled over the head… this is where all reasons fail, all debates are thrown to the wind, and all science flies out of the window…. This is called LOVE. One place where the mind and all its logical thinking lose their cause, give in to the illogical, irrational and visceral feelings of the heart.
I had fallen ill recently and had to be hospitalized. I also had to undergo an operation, which bound me to the bed for a good month or two. This incident scared the wits off my parents…They could not bear the fact that their darling daughter went through so much pain and anguish… they ran from pillar to post to get me cured as fast as possible and also in the least painful way… well, but the fact remains that however hard they try, they can not lessen my discomfort. An operation brings with it its share of pain, and a patient has to go through it without having much choice. My parents could not bear this fact and they resorted to means, which all people do, when all reason and science fails… Belief…. it may be illogical, unscientific, irrational and jaundiced, but people nevertheless resort to it when every thing else fails. Like a wise man once said that hope is a good thing and that no good thing ever dies… In the same way, my folks resorted to means, which every reason fails to justify. They went ahead and got me a ring- something they would be the first to shun, in different circumstances. Now they have started believing that if I do wear the ring without taking it off even for a minute, I will remain healthy and happy. I will never fall ill anymore, not at least seriously.
This idea beats me completely, and I made no bones about stating that fact to my parents. After all I did not want to look like those silly girls, who wear hideous colored rings on all ten fingers of their hands…(Thank God, He did not think of providing us with more fingers!!!). I have always been a fiercely independent girl, and I always make my ideas and feelings heard… I have never had someone TELL me to do stuff…and this time it was a big blow to my ego to have someone TELL me to wear a ring…(so what it is my parents??) I had a big argument with dad regarding this and I told him clearly that I would not let my appearance and my image go down the drain because they think that a stupid ring will keep illness at bay!!!
It was then, that I realized what a big mistake I was making by fighting with daddy. He, not even for once tried to force it on me. All he did was request me to wear the ring, and all my logic and reason fell on ears deafened by that one feeling- LOVE. It was then that I realized what my parents went through when I lay on that bed, post-operation, wreathing in pain. How could I forget, that it is actually unbearable for those two people to see me in pain?? How can I forget, that it is them, who brought me into this world, and that they cannot see a part of their own flesh and blood suffer?? Isn’t it natural that they would go all the way to relieve me of it?? As this realization dawned, I was ashamed by my own behavior, of all the thoughts that came to my mind when I was asked to wear the ring…. It was then that I came to the conclusion that the head may be strong but when the heart takes over, there is no stopping it…. When the heart guides the thoughts and feelings, they are born much stronger, though they might be the most illogical in the whole world; they take the front seat and guide the person along. Feelings born from the heart are more passionate and fervent than reasons that stem from the mind. That is when I gave in and stopped resisting.
Post-realization, here I am, sitting and sharing my feelings and emotions with everyone. I am sorry Dad and Mom, for being so insensitive…. It is love for me that prompted you to resort to superstition, and it is love for you that guides me to wear this hideous ring. I really dislike it, but I will not utter a word about this anymore, that’s a promise. And… Thank you for being my parents. It is a heavenly feeling to have the best parents in the world.
Now one would question, if I am so against the idea of wearing a superstitious ring, then what is one of those doing, sitting pretty (or ugly) on my little finger… Well this is where the heart ruled over the head… this is where all reasons fail, all debates are thrown to the wind, and all science flies out of the window…. This is called LOVE. One place where the mind and all its logical thinking lose their cause, give in to the illogical, irrational and visceral feelings of the heart.
I had fallen ill recently and had to be hospitalized. I also had to undergo an operation, which bound me to the bed for a good month or two. This incident scared the wits off my parents…They could not bear the fact that their darling daughter went through so much pain and anguish… they ran from pillar to post to get me cured as fast as possible and also in the least painful way… well, but the fact remains that however hard they try, they can not lessen my discomfort. An operation brings with it its share of pain, and a patient has to go through it without having much choice. My parents could not bear this fact and they resorted to means, which all people do, when all reason and science fails… Belief…. it may be illogical, unscientific, irrational and jaundiced, but people nevertheless resort to it when every thing else fails. Like a wise man once said that hope is a good thing and that no good thing ever dies… In the same way, my folks resorted to means, which every reason fails to justify. They went ahead and got me a ring- something they would be the first to shun, in different circumstances. Now they have started believing that if I do wear the ring without taking it off even for a minute, I will remain healthy and happy. I will never fall ill anymore, not at least seriously.
This idea beats me completely, and I made no bones about stating that fact to my parents. After all I did not want to look like those silly girls, who wear hideous colored rings on all ten fingers of their hands…(Thank God, He did not think of providing us with more fingers!!!). I have always been a fiercely independent girl, and I always make my ideas and feelings heard… I have never had someone TELL me to do stuff…and this time it was a big blow to my ego to have someone TELL me to wear a ring…(so what it is my parents??) I had a big argument with dad regarding this and I told him clearly that I would not let my appearance and my image go down the drain because they think that a stupid ring will keep illness at bay!!!
It was then, that I realized what a big mistake I was making by fighting with daddy. He, not even for once tried to force it on me. All he did was request me to wear the ring, and all my logic and reason fell on ears deafened by that one feeling- LOVE. It was then that I realized what my parents went through when I lay on that bed, post-operation, wreathing in pain. How could I forget, that it is actually unbearable for those two people to see me in pain?? How can I forget, that it is them, who brought me into this world, and that they cannot see a part of their own flesh and blood suffer?? Isn’t it natural that they would go all the way to relieve me of it?? As this realization dawned, I was ashamed by my own behavior, of all the thoughts that came to my mind when I was asked to wear the ring…. It was then that I came to the conclusion that the head may be strong but when the heart takes over, there is no stopping it…. When the heart guides the thoughts and feelings, they are born much stronger, though they might be the most illogical in the whole world; they take the front seat and guide the person along. Feelings born from the heart are more passionate and fervent than reasons that stem from the mind. That is when I gave in and stopped resisting.
Post-realization, here I am, sitting and sharing my feelings and emotions with everyone. I am sorry Dad and Mom, for being so insensitive…. It is love for me that prompted you to resort to superstition, and it is love for you that guides me to wear this hideous ring. I really dislike it, but I will not utter a word about this anymore, that’s a promise. And… Thank you for being my parents. It is a heavenly feeling to have the best parents in the world.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Some confused thoughts...
The strains of teh piano are still ringing in my ears. A girl of sevnteen sat in front of
me and played one of the toughest yet melodious instruments ever known to mankind.
We ahd gone to one of our family friend's house for dinner and their daughter played
teh piano for me. she is absolutely in love with the instrument and her fingers ran
over teh instrument with utmost swiftness and love, like a woman making love to her
man. The little lady played some Mozart and some very slow and soft music that
transformed me to a different world altogether.... a world guided by music, nourished
by love and run by the heart..... a place where there was no jealousy, no bitchiness
and no ill-feelings.
The evening, which i thouhgt would be very boring (cause generally, i hate these
family friend's-house party types) sublimated into an almost heavenly
experience...Music is something which never fails to lift my spirits (and a lot of
others' also, i suppose). makes me wonder how man came to discover such a divine gift
of God and ttransform it into his forte... Air and a little obstruction in it creats such
wonderful melodies, that can affect nature's movements too!!! (remember Tan Sen and
his music!!!)
well well, makes me feel humble and proud at the same time. humble, because when i
keep boasting and ranting about things that i think i know and feel proud of, are
merely qualities (or the lack of them) that 99% of the population knows, and yet
that does not stop me from tooting my own horn....do we ever feel the need to stop
and think how insignificant we are on the face of this vast universe?? we are always so
busy trying to make our existence felt that it almost wipes out from our memory the
fact that we ourselves are temporary beings; and yet it makes me feel proud that whatever it may be I am still blessed enough to be a human being, that I can still feel, I can still admire beauty and I can still feel close to God…
Hmmm, I have jumbled this whole write-up pretty much, but I can only blame the divine music, that I heard this evening for that!!! Hee hee, good music always makes me go speechless, aand that is what exactly has happened here.
me and played one of the toughest yet melodious instruments ever known to mankind.
We ahd gone to one of our family friend's house for dinner and their daughter played
teh piano for me. she is absolutely in love with the instrument and her fingers ran
over teh instrument with utmost swiftness and love, like a woman making love to her
man. The little lady played some Mozart and some very slow and soft music that
transformed me to a different world altogether.... a world guided by music, nourished
by love and run by the heart..... a place where there was no jealousy, no bitchiness
and no ill-feelings.
The evening, which i thouhgt would be very boring (cause generally, i hate these
family friend's-house party types) sublimated into an almost heavenly
experience...Music is something which never fails to lift my spirits (and a lot of
others' also, i suppose). makes me wonder how man came to discover such a divine gift
of God and ttransform it into his forte... Air and a little obstruction in it creats such
wonderful melodies, that can affect nature's movements too!!! (remember Tan Sen and
his music!!!)
well well, makes me feel humble and proud at the same time. humble, because when i
keep boasting and ranting about things that i think i know and feel proud of, are
merely qualities (or the lack of them) that 99% of the population knows, and yet
that does not stop me from tooting my own horn....do we ever feel the need to stop
and think how insignificant we are on the face of this vast universe?? we are always so
busy trying to make our existence felt that it almost wipes out from our memory the
fact that we ourselves are temporary beings; and yet it makes me feel proud that whatever it may be I am still blessed enough to be a human being, that I can still feel, I can still admire beauty and I can still feel close to God…
Hmmm, I have jumbled this whole write-up pretty much, but I can only blame the divine music, that I heard this evening for that!!! Hee hee, good music always makes me go speechless, aand that is what exactly has happened here.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
The anodyne of all pain
The healer of all sorrow
Is the simplest of all things, yet is the hardest to find…
Love, love, a little love… that is what I want…
(Like the thirsty traveler, worn from his journey in the desert for days,
Yearns for water as if it were a life saving medicine for him,)
Just a mere little drop is all he begs for, to try to relive life, with a new zeal…
The healer of all sorrow
Is the simplest of all things, yet is the hardest to find…
Love, love, a little love… that is what I want…
(Like the thirsty traveler, worn from his journey in the desert for days,
Yearns for water as if it were a life saving medicine for him,)
Just a mere little drop is all he begs for, to try to relive life, with a new zeal…
Give me drop of love; and I promise I will live again…
I take the world on as I go.
I have the swiftness of the wind
And the smoothness of the water
The strength of fire
And the patience of the earth in me;
I have the four elements running through my veins:
I can feel the push of adrenalin to take on the world….
It is mine and I will conquer it:
It is my day today,
And no one can take my victory away from me.
I have the swiftness of the wind
And the smoothness of the water
The strength of fire
And the patience of the earth in me;
I have the four elements running through my veins:
I can feel the push of adrenalin to take on the world….
It is mine and I will conquer it:
It is my day today,
And no one can take my victory away from me.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Thanks for the appreciation
Thanks for the apprecitaion.....inspires me to write all the more, if that is how I can have u guys visit my blog often. Will be back with some more stuff. Pls keep visiting.....
bongbabe
bongbabe
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