I write, I prove and I don't lag behind

The other day I read a blog where the blogger mentioned that the hardest thing for a human being is to keep thinking and writing coherently on a regular basis. Well that proves that I am a normal human being... it IS hard for me to keep writing regularly... which is why the last time I made a post on my blog was one and a half years back!!

But I am going to change that now.... I felt jealous of other bloggers when I read their frequent posts... that made me realise how much I was lagging behind in the blogosphere.... and as a human being, lagging behind is not what i was taught from my very toddler days.... we are all destined to compete in the rat race, where the dog eats another of its species.

so, while i am just tagging along and not lagging behind in all other spheres of life, why should the blogosphere be treated as a step child by the cruel mother?

so here's to the virtual sphere.... i will virtually do anything to keep writing.... even if i write incoherently... even at the cost of losing my smart image to my smarter writer friends... come to think of it, they might have had a point to prove when they wrote all their blogs; and they continue to keep writing even now!!

But I will write for the love of it, coz it helps me think... and last but not the least...

it gives me the satisfaction of knowing i am one of the rats, really and virtually :)

FAT??

A very dear friend has started the battle against the bulge. That reminded me of the New year Resolution that I had taken at teh beginning of 2007. Though NYR's are meant to be
broken but this one i wanted to stick to... not because suddenly i have become virtuous and i fulfill every promise I make, but because of all those stylish and sexy clothes that hang from the shop shelves... inciting, provoking, egging me on to buy them and wear them...Those cute tops... short skirts... hot pairs of jeans... and so one and so forth.

So coming back to the topic, I have decided to join the battle too... Strange how NYR's are forgotten woth every passing day of the year.... Goes on to show how we all start a new year afresh with lotsa hopes and desires to change things for the better... to make the world a better place to live in, in our own small ways... but everything falls into the great churning
machine... all hopes are squashed under its great weight, and all that is left is the residue, but not without a little hope that the next year will be a better one and more productive. Its
the hope that keeps us going...

Heres saying bye bye to the layers and layers of fat... Welcome a SLIM ME!!

Red is after all not a very appealing color... Not always

In my previous post I talked about how our Hon’ble Chief Minister is a very literary minded person with very delicate tastes in art and culture. His adda venue is Nandan where he drops by to enjoy the environment and discuss literature and politics… Blah blah blah.
And the very day, in the afternoon, we receive horrifying news of villagers falling victims to piercing bullets that were shot through their bodies like rag dolls being torn apart. And this incident, too, very unfortunately happened under the rule of the same CM. The police “needed to restore law and order” in Nandigram, the next venue for the SEZ.
Industrialization is an important step for every economy and its people and is not always a very welcome change, as we have seen in the recent times. No change is ever accepted with arms wide open and without apprehension, but there are ways of easing it into a people. And flexing of muscles surely can’t be one of them. How can you justify the use of force when you are encroaching on one’s own property to evict the person? The bloodbath that Nandigram witnessed two days ago has no excuse. Using rubber bullets and tear gas shells is one thing, to disperse an angry mob, but to use live ammunition and dismiss them completely from the drudgery of life is completely another. These poor people were only trying to save the only known source of their livelihood. Were there any open talks with the Government regarding the kind of benefit that they would receive once the SEZ has been set up and work started on the plot? It is a rhetorical question that I ask.
A government cannot boast of modernization and a successful economy if its hands are stained with the blood of innocent people. Our ruling party seems to take its official color a tad bit seriously. Where is the people friendly image that your Government has been posing all this time Mr. CM? Has the sense of power made you heady with success? Or is it that after three decades of your rule you have decided to take your own people for granted? Just because we have voted for you and brought you into power time and again, does not mean that we have become dependent on you and lost our voice of protest.
I have believed in the ruling party for as long as I can remember, but do not test our patience Budhha babu. We have known you as a sensitive and sensible person, and have left the ruling power in the Left hands… and this was done by choice and not by force. And though it has been long since we had eyes for only the sickle and the hammer, don’t you for once think that we have lost the power to look elsewhere.
After the horrifying incident, a minimum that was expected from the Government was a deep and profound apology at the loss of so many innocent lives, and so brutally indeed. But ego has been known to bring down many a Heracles, and such seems to be the case with the ruling party. Today the situation has such arisen that even the most ardent fan of the red club is seeing red at its actions.
Common Budhha Babu, show us some of the sensitiveness that makes you a cut above the rest of those hard hearted politicians who speak on a public forum only to gain votes, and see campaigning in the burning sun as a means to their selfish ends. We never knew you to be like that. Bring on that charm, play it all over… To err is human, Mr. CM… give us the wise old man, white haired, and clad in white traditional clothes. We do not want the callous politician that is trying to raise its ugly head within you. Make us believe in you all over again. The state needs you to hold its hand and bring it forward from darkness unto light, and not vice versa. Go on apologize for the atrocities committed by your men in uniform, and start all over again.
We still have eyes only for the sickle and hammer.

Hey am really excited today... Am meeting my dear friend Scooby after a long long time... we both have been busy, though she wont admit that she was too busy to meet up, and says its the lazy me that has been delaying our regular meetings over a bhaar of tea and a shared cigarette at our fav meeting place: Nandan. The cultural hub of The city of joy; though the great history and the cultural n political importance of the place has got nothing to do with us stupid mortals. Though the CM himself drops in whenever he can, at Nandan; it being his fav hangout too, we go there for the sheer sprawling grounds and the independence of being able to hang around the place without anyone coming over to ask if we want to order something else (poliltely and sometimes very blatantly asking us to leave) !!
It’s been our favorite place since our college days when we bunked classes and went and lazed around the Nandan grounds. This place holds a lot of memories, and going back there always brings back the happy ones.
Today I am going to create some more. So that when life sweeps us away in its unexpected tides, I can always look back and smile fondly at all the memories that we have made over the years.

Post Hibernation

After a period of long hibernation, I feel the urge to write. I do not know ho wlong this will remail, though the longer the better. As a mark of respect to the great author Sidney Sheldon, I have decided to make a collection of his best sellers. All my life I have borrowed the books from friends and foe to read SS, but now I think the time has come to pay homage to the great man. I finished his "Morning, Noon and Night" for the second time, and felt the same thrill and excitement while reading the book. You just cant put it down without knowing what happens in the following chapter.
So there I was, spending a great lazy Suanday, curled up on my bed with a Sidney Sheldon bestseller under my nose. Great read.

I Wish...

I wish you wouldnt have to go away, leaving me feeling naked in the big bad world... Coz the only thing that looks good on me is YOU...

The Clock

This clock is dedicated to all the times i want five more minutes in the morning to wake up and get ready for the day... It will serve to remind me that those five montues are precious and 5*60=300 seconds can be put into better use... the worth of time... this is what this clock will serve to remind me... I do not want to miss the bus to LIFE...

I speak...

Its three in the morning and as the world snores away peacefully, i seem to have turned into an insomniac.
sleep,sleep, sleep, where art thou? It IS really true that human beings need sleep to rejuvinate themselves, but then if one does not do anything
throughout the day, where will the need to rejuvinate oneself come from? i have taken a balcony seat to the
movie called life. i can only sit by and watch the world slide away, watch like an audience while others play
their part to perfection. what happens when you are running your fastest best, and suddenly you trip and
fall.... you get hurled so far way and you bruise yourself so bad , that you wonder if you would ever be able to
get back to those tracks again.... those tracks that had once been your sole soul's sustenance. There's a part of me that wants to scream out, shout at all the other people who are running..."how dare you
run? cant you see i have fallen? yopu should stop too!!! " thats my frustration speaking. seem to ahve lost touch
with the active world. sitting and watching life go by hasd never been my forte, and thsi time it is no
different. the only way to survivve the fight id to get beck ti the tracks. Waiting for my inner calling...

The Ring

The day started off on an awful note…. Mom slipped in a ring on the little finger of my right hand at dawn…. A thing that I had been dreading for quite sometime now…. well it’s a ring that is supposed to keep me from falling seriously ill…hahaha…I mean common man!!! What century are we living in??? If a ring and a stone could keep illness away, why would we need doctors?? Okay okay, maybe I am being too sarcastic, and there are people who still believe that things like a stone or a locket can keep evil and dangers at bay…but it came as an utmost shock to me when MY parents wanted to go the same superstitious way, like the others, at whom I have laughed all my life..!!! Man, when I saw those cool chicks dressed in the most hep and fashionable way, all their fashion fundas applied at one go, I would go ga ga over their sense of dressing and the way they carried themselves, until my eyes fell on their hands, rather their fingers…there they would be, safely slipped in to their fingers, gold rings, holding all sorts of hideous colored stones…. Red, green, white, and sometimes may be purple, blue, orange and what not (I wonder if there is any fluorescent colored stone that keeps you from falling into wrong hands..???) hee hee…. Anyways, coming back to those silly little girls…. I had a good good laugh at their cost… !!! I mean it just looks so silly and uncool….sheeeesh!!!! That was the time I was thankful that though I am not as fashionable and hip as them, at least me and my parents had the sanity not to wear those rings that “supposedly keeps you from harm”…hah…!!! It’s THE most ridiculous thing I have ever seen… and thanks to my parents, I was brought up in the least superstitious environment possible…and hence the smugness towards superstitious things…. I believe there has to be a reason and a scientific explanation behind everything…. otherwise how does every thing in nature work according to precision??? And this is where I don’t find any logic behind these superstitions…

Now one would question, if I am so against the idea of wearing a superstitious ring, then what is one of those doing, sitting pretty (or ugly) on my little finger… Well this is where the heart ruled over the head… this is where all reasons fail, all debates are thrown to the wind, and all science flies out of the window…. This is called LOVE. One place where the mind and all its logical thinking lose their cause, give in to the illogical, irrational and visceral feelings of the heart.

I had fallen ill recently and had to be hospitalized. I also had to undergo an operation, which bound me to the bed for a good month or two. This incident scared the wits off my parents…They could not bear the fact that their darling daughter went through so much pain and anguish… they ran from pillar to post to get me cured as fast as possible and also in the least painful way… well, but the fact remains that however hard they try, they can not lessen my discomfort. An operation brings with it its share of pain, and a patient has to go through it without having much choice. My parents could not bear this fact and they resorted to means, which all people do, when all reason and science fails… Belief…. it may be illogical, unscientific, irrational and jaundiced, but people nevertheless resort to it when every thing else fails. Like a wise man once said that hope is a good thing and that no good thing ever dies… In the same way, my folks resorted to means, which every reason fails to justify. They went ahead and got me a ring- something they would be the first to shun, in different circumstances. Now they have started believing that if I do wear the ring without taking it off even for a minute, I will remain healthy and happy. I will never fall ill anymore, not at least seriously.

This idea beats me completely, and I made no bones about stating that fact to my parents. After all I did not want to look like those silly girls, who wear hideous colored rings on all ten fingers of their hands…(Thank God, He did not think of providing us with more fingers!!!). I have always been a fiercely independent girl, and I always make my ideas and feelings heard… I have never had someone TELL me to do stuff…and this time it was a big blow to my ego to have someone TELL me to wear a ring…(so what it is my parents??) I had a big argument with dad regarding this and I told him clearly that I would not let my appearance and my image go down the drain because they think that a stupid ring will keep illness at bay!!!

It was then, that I realized what a big mistake I was making by fighting with daddy. He, not even for once tried to force it on me. All he did was request me to wear the ring, and all my logic and reason fell on ears deafened by that one feeling- LOVE. It was then that I realized what my parents went through when I lay on that bed, post-operation, wreathing in pain. How could I forget, that it is actually unbearable for those two people to see me in pain?? How can I forget, that it is them, who brought me into this world, and that they cannot see a part of their own flesh and blood suffer?? Isn’t it natural that they would go all the way to relieve me of it?? As this realization dawned, I was ashamed by my own behavior, of all the thoughts that came to my mind when I was asked to wear the ring…. It was then that I came to the conclusion that the head may be strong but when the heart takes over, there is no stopping it…. When the heart guides the thoughts and feelings, they are born much stronger, though they might be the most illogical in the whole world; they take the front seat and guide the person along. Feelings born from the heart are more passionate and fervent than reasons that stem from the mind. That is when I gave in and stopped resisting.
Post-realization, here I am, sitting and sharing my feelings and emotions with everyone. I am sorry Dad and Mom, for being so insensitive…. It is love for me that prompted you to resort to superstition, and it is love for you that guides me to wear this hideous ring. I really dislike it, but I will not utter a word about this anymore, that’s a promise. And… Thank you for being my parents. It is a heavenly feeling to have the best parents in the world.

Some confused thoughts...

The strains of teh piano are still ringing in my ears. A girl of sevnteen sat in front of
me and played one of the toughest yet melodious instruments ever known to mankind.
We ahd gone to one of our family friend's house for dinner and their daughter played
teh piano for me. she is absolutely in love with the instrument and her fingers ran
over teh instrument with utmost swiftness and love, like a woman making love to her
man. The little lady played some Mozart and some very slow and soft music that
transformed me to a different world altogether.... a world guided by music, nourished
by love and run by the heart..... a place where there was no jealousy, no bitchiness
and no ill-feelings.
The evening, which i thouhgt would be very boring (cause generally, i hate these
family friend's-house party types) sublimated into an almost heavenly
experience...Music is something which never fails to lift my spirits (and a lot of
others' also, i suppose). makes me wonder how man came to discover such a divine gift
of God and ttransform it into his forte... Air and a little obstruction in it creats such
wonderful melodies, that can affect nature's movements too!!! (remember Tan Sen and
his music!!!)
well well, makes me feel humble and proud at the same time. humble, because when i
keep boasting and ranting about things that i think i know and feel proud of, are
merely qualities (or the lack of them) that 99% of the population knows, and yet
that does not stop me from tooting my own horn....do we ever feel the need to stop
and think how insignificant we are on the face of this vast universe?? we are always so
busy trying to make our existence felt that it almost wipes out from our memory the
fact that we ourselves are temporary beings; and yet it makes me feel proud that whatever it may be I am still blessed enough to be a human being, that I can still feel, I can still admire beauty and I can still feel close to God…
Hmmm, I have jumbled this whole write-up pretty much, but I can only blame the divine music, that I heard this evening for that!!! Hee hee, good music always makes me go speechless, aand that is what exactly has happened here.

Every second passes by slowly,
Each movement of the clock almost hurts my lungs,
I cant hold the suspense anymore.
Am waiting for the hour to end,
For the clock to strike Twelve,
When the two hands will meet,
When the two of them will conjoin:
A rendezvous, as old as time itself.

The anodyne of all pain
The healer of all sorrow
Is the simplest of all things, yet is the hardest to find…
Love, love, a little love… that is what I want…
(Like the thirsty traveler, worn from his journey in the desert for days,
Yearns for water as if it were a life saving medicine for him,)
Just a mere little drop is all he begs for, to try to relive life, with a new zeal…

Give me drop of love; and I promise I will live again…

I take the world on as I go.
I have the swiftness of the wind
And the smoothness of the water
The strength of fire
And the patience of the earth in me;
I have the four elements running through my veins:
I can feel the push of adrenalin to take on the world….
It is mine and I will conquer it:
It is my day today,
And no one can take my victory away from me.

Thanks for the appreciation

Thanks for the apprecitaion.....inspires me to write all the more, if that is how I can have u guys visit my blog often. Will be back with some more stuff. Pls keep visiting.....
bongbabe

I am here.......rite in the heart of things...!!!!! I just created my own blog and boy am I happy !!!!! At this moment of joy if I dnt mention the person who introd me to this site, my happiness would not be worth it...... Thanx to that person. A wonderful soul who knows to give without expecting reciprocation, without any ulterior motives.... Very tough in today's world to find a person like this. No one seems to give, without extending the other hand to take. Sometimes I wonder if I have become too cynical to believe that people like this actually exist in today's world, tho I am seeing one such person everyday. Life sometimes teaches u sooooo many things that at times u learn up too much in too little time. No Fair !!!! Well then, no ever said that life IS fair !!!!!
I guess tahts the fun of living life...... Torrential storms blow off all the blocks of teh house that u so carefully built up and then u very patiently get to re-building them. Life's a game and the more practice u get, the better u get at playin the game !!!!
Anyhu, will sign off here as I cant hold my excitement anymore at creating this personalized blog......

bongbabe